


break me to pieces, I think you're just like heaven

by thesurielofficial



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Fix-It, Fluff, Happy Ending, M/M, Post-Episode: s15e20 Carry On, because it's what they deserve, hate it here <3, hi wtf was the finale, so i wrote a fix it, the happiest ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-20
Updated: 2020-11-20
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:00:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,050
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27641776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesurielofficial/pseuds/thesurielofficial
Summary: Dean drives aimlessly in heaven. He can't stop thinking about Cas. Good thing the angel always shows up when he calls.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 6
Kudos: 61





	break me to pieces, I think you're just like heaven

**Author's Note:**

> title from Cassiopeia by Sara Bareilles. Was planning on a lyric from "just like heaven" but I've already used a line from that song in another fic, so.

Dean’s driving aimlessly. There’s so many people he should be meeting, so many people here who he hasn’t seen in years, family he’s missed. Yet, his thoughts keep coming back to one sentence- “Cas helped.”

Two words, but he can’t stop thinking about anything else. The thing is, Dean knows how these things work out for him. He never gets what he wants, there’s always something that comes in the way. Sure, things may work out okay in the end, and he’s always had his brother beside him. But, love? That isn’t for him. He’s loved Cas for years now, and the idea of being loved back by him- Dean had never even considered it. Because Cas was his best friend, and he could never feel the same way.

Until, he told Dean that he did. And that confession, it had been the best and the most painful thing that had happened to Dean. Cas loved him back. But then, he was gone. And he’d gone thinking, he’d gone thinking that Dean didn’t love him back.

But, Dean loved him so much and he wanted to scream at the bastard for leaving before he could tell him. And then, Cas was gone and there were so many words that he hadn’t said for years and he would never get the chance to again.

But now, he knows that Cas is back, that he’s okay, that he’s helped create this utopia. But Cas doesn’t know him then, because this isn’t heaven if he’s alone. He feels so alone, even in death, even with everyone there for him, even with the knowledge that Sam will join him soon. Cas, Cas, Cas. His best friend, the man he’d been in love with for years, the man who sacrificed himself to save him, the man who had created this new version of heaven, the man who didn’t even let Dean reply to that painful confession. He owed Dean that chance, the chance to say something. Dean has so many things to say, and now he has nobody to say them to.

He keeps driving, and he’s angry now. He’s angry at Cas for not dropping in, no ‘hello Dean’, no ‘hi, I’m still alive.” He deserved to be notified that his _best friend_ was okay. He deserved some kind of closure. Dean stops the car. He’s too tired to cry, but he’s so angry, and there’s too much going through his mind right now, 

“Cas, you fucking bastard,” he mutters. “Where the fuck are you?”

“Hello, Dean.” Dean shuts his eyes. He must be hallucinating And if he opens his eyes, and he doesn’t see Cas, it would just be a painful confirmation of the fact that he never will again. He stays like that for a minute, leaning against the car seat, eyes shut tight. But he can hear someone shifting beside him, in the passenger seat, and that means there is someone here and it can’t be, it can’t be, it can’t be-

“Cas?” he asks, finally gathering the courage to look. And it _is_. It’s his Cas, sitting next to him, smiling nervously. 

“I wasn’t sure if you’d want to see me,” the angel says. “I didn’t want to make things awkward.”

“You asshole. You never gave me a chance to reply. You just, you _left_ ,” Dean says, afraid to look at Cas because what if this is all in his head and it isn’t real, afraid to look away because what if this is all in his head and even an illusion of Cas is better than nothing.

“I didn’t really have a choice at the time,” Cas replies. He looks away from Dean then. “And, well, after, I thought you might not be feeling very kindly towards me. I wanted to give you space.”

“Well, I didn’t ask for space. Fuck’s sake, I loved you too. And you just made this huge stupid fucking speech about the one thing you couldn’t have, as if I haven’t been yours all along. And I never got to tell you.”

“You loved me?” Cas is looking right at him, disbelief etched at his face. Dean almost wants to punch him.

“Cas, you idiot, I’ve loved you for years. And, and I still do. Of course I do. I just, wow, I have never said these words aloud. I’ve always been too afraid to, but I’m saying them now because I’ve wanted to ever since you left and I couldn’t, I couldn’t tell Sam what happened, I couldn’t tell anyone what you said to me and what I wanted to say to you, because I was so afraid, and I regretted so much, but you’re here now and you’re okay, and-”

They’re closer together now. Dean isn’t sure which one of them moved closer to the other, or whether they’ve both been moving towards each other. Is it not the natural thing to do when one confesses their love to find that it is requited, is that not the logical next step? Then why does Dean feel so afraid?

They both know what’s about to happen, and neither of them want to stop it from happening.

“I’ve never done this before. I don’t know how to,” Dean’s voice breaks off, as Cas’s fingers trace his cheekbone.

“You’ve kissed people before, Dean,” and Cas is smiling, as if it’s simple, as if this is easy, and it should be easy, shouldn’t it?

“Not like this,” Dean confesses. “Not like, not like you.”

“Just trust me?” Cas asks, and he looks so happy and Dean nods at that.

Cas’s lips are a little chapped, but soft and he kisses Dean carefully, sweetly. It’s a soft kiss, a slow one, because for once, they have no reason for rushing. They have all the time in the world. Dean smiles against Cas’s lips and breaks the kiss to look at Cas, to drink in this moment. He hugs him tight, feels Cas’s warm, solid body in his arms, alive and okay, and it reminds him that this is alright, that this is everything he thought he’d never have, but he does. He gets this, he deserves it. Cas deserves it. They have all of eternity to love each other now.

They drive back to the house together.

**Author's Note:**

> hi, okay, the thing is. I stopped watching Supernatural years ago and I recently got sucked into the whole thing again and then I watched the finale today and honestly, what the fuck. So I wrote this. I was clowning so hard last night about human Cas and canon destiel, only to get,,,whatever that was. Hope this is better!


End file.
